The Skeptic الشكاك

195 Bishkek to Beirut

“Left: Lebanese Passport. Right: Foreign Passport.” From An-Nahar, Beirut’s foremost daily, July 30, 2006.

It was nice to escape the looming presence of the war in Beirut for a week. Back in Cairo, though, it’s impossible. Busy with work, now, so just a few scattered, unshaped thoughts: More…

194 Back in the USSR

I’d promised myself not to make this a personal blog, but friends and family have been curious about Kyrgyzstan, so I’m including a link to some photos, and to a New York Times story that, coincidentally, ran while I was there. Also some scattered notes, adapted from an email to a friend:

The first thing a traveller landing in Bishkek sees are the American military planes on the runway. More…

193 International Convention Needed on Blowing Off Little Girls’ Faces

Posts like this are why I find time to read ‘Aqoul, even when on the road in Kyrgyzstan.

192 Blogging from Bishkek

Actually now in Issy Kul, Kyrgyzstan, but that’s not alliterative. Here for a conference of NGO and government people from Central Asian countries. Have spent the past few days riding across the Central Asian steppes, drinking fermented horse’s milk, breathing pure air, and wondering what’s happening in Lebanon. This is a breathtakingly beautiful country. Will write more soon, but it’s hard to find access to the Internet here.

189 ‘A Fifth Column’

First, this summary of the “Deadliest Day Yet in the Assault on Lebanon” from the Washington Post. Notice the Israelis are now bombing Christian neighborhoods… because, you know, Lebanese Christians are huge Hizbullah supporters.

Second, these AP photos, taken Monday, of Israeli girls writing messages on missiles destined for Lebanon:

Their parents must be very proud.

Third, those in the region puzzled by U.S. support for Israel or U.S. news reports on Israel will be interested to read what many Americans get in their email inboxes every day. Note the rhetorical similarities to Nasrallah’s speech (and thanks to the interplanetary illumati lizardman for forwarding these):

More…

186 Write Your Own Thomas Friedman Column

Reviving this from two years ago because it recently came up in conversation and because it’s still funny. Originally from The New York Observer.

Write your own Thomas Friedman column!

1. Choose your title to intrigue the reader through its internal conflict
a. War and Peas
b. Osama, Boulevardier
c. Big Problems, Little Women
2. Include a dateline from a remote location, preferably dangerous, unmistakably Muslim:

a. Mecca, Saudi Arabia
b. Islamabad, Pakistan
c. Mohammedville, Trinidad
3. Begin your first paragraph with a grandiose sentence and end with a terse, startlingly unexpected contradiction:

a. The future of civilization depends upon open communication between Yasir Arafat and Ariel Sharon. If the two don?t speak to each other, the world edges closer to the precipice of total war. If, on the other hand, they manage to engage in open conversation and resolve their differences, Israelis could soon be celebrating Seders in Saudi Arabia. But for now, the two men can?t speak. Why? You can?t make a collect call from Bethlehem.

4. Use the next few paragraphs to further define the contradiction stated above, peppered with little questions making it look like you?re having a conversation with the reader. Feel free to use the first person:

a. My first thought was to ask: Why no collect calls from Bethlehem? It?s easy to call collect from Bosnia, Kosovo, even Uzbekistan. Am I sure? Of course I?m sure. I was in each of those places just a few weeks ago, making collect calls all over the world. No problem. So why can?t Arafat call collect from Bethlehem?

5. Remember: Thomas Friedman is the Carrie Bradshaw of current events. Think Sex and the City, write “Sects and Tikriti”:

a. How can Islam get to its future, if its past is its present?

b. Later that day I got to thinking about global civilizational warfare. There are wars that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that take you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant clash of all is the one you have with your own civilization. And if you can find a civilization to love the you that you love, well, that?s just fabulous.

c. Maybe Arabs and Israelis aren?t from different planets, as pop culture would have us believe. Maybe we live a lot closer to each other. Perhaps, dare I even say it, in the same ZIP code.

6. Name-drop heavily, particularly describing intimate situations involving hard-to-reach people:

a. The Jacuzzi was nearly full when Ayman al-Zawahiri, former surgeon and now Al Qaeda?s head of operations, slid in.

b. It was Thomas Pynchon on the phone. “Tommy,” he said, probably aware we share that name ?.

c. Despite the bumpy flight, I felt comfortable in the hands of a pilot as experienced as Amelia Earhart.

7. Include unknowns from hostile places who have come to espouse rational Western thought and culture:

a. I visited Mohammed bin Faisal Al-Hijazi, former top aide to Ayatollah Khomeini, now a reformer and graduate of the Wharton Business School.

b. Last year Nura bin Saleh Al-Fulani worked in Gaza sewing C4 plastic explosives into suicide bombers? vests. I caught up with Nura last week in Paw Paw, Mich., where she sews activity patches on the uniforms of Cub Scout Pack 34.

8. Make use of homey anecdotes about your daughters, Natalie and Orly, enrolled in Eastern Middle School, Silver Spring, Md.:

a. My daughter Natalie, a student at Eastern Middle School, a public school in Silver Spring, Md., asked me at breakfast: “Daddy, if my school has students who are Muslims and Jews and Christians and Buddhists all working together, why can?t the rest of the world be that way?” There was something in the innocence of her question that made me stop and think: Maybe she has a point.

9. Quote a little-known Middle East authority at least once in every column:

a. Stephen P. Cohen
b. Stephen P. Cohen
c. Stephen P. Cohen

10. Conclude your column with a suggestion referring back to the opening contradiction, but with an ironic twist. Make sure the suggestion you proffer sounds plausible, but in fact has no chance of happening:

a. Driving into Bethlehem in the back of a pickup, I wonder: What if Yasir Arafat and Ariel Sharon sit down and play a game of poker? And what if the stakes are these: If Sharon wins, the Intifada is over. If Arafat wins, Palestine gains statehood. One game of no-limit Texas hold ?em, and the Middle East crisis is resolved. Just like that. Yasir and Ariel, deal ?em out.

Also this version, from McSweeny’s:

C R E A T E Y O U R O W N
T H O M A S F R I E D M A N
O P – E D C O L U M N :

DISORDER AND DREAMS IN [COUNTRY IN THE NEWS]

BY MICHAEL WARD

Last week’s events in [country in the news] were truly historic, although we may not know for years or even decades what their final meaning is. What’s important, however, is that we focus on what these events mean [on the ground/in the street/to the citizens themselves]. The [media/current administration] seems too caught up in [worrying about/dissecting/spinning] the macro-level situation to pay attention to the important effects on daily life. Just call it missing the [desert for the sand/fields for the wheat/battle for the bullets].

When thinking about the recent turmoil, it’s important to remember three things: One, people don’t behave like [computer programs/billiard balls/migratory birds], so attempts to treat them as such inevitably look foolish. [Computer programs/Billiard balls/Migratory birds] never suddenly [blow themselves up/shift their course in order to fit with a predetermined set of beliefs/set up a black market for Western DVDs]. Two, [country in question] has spent decades [as a dictatorship closed to the world/being batted back and forth between colonial powers/torn by civil war and ethnic hatred], so a mindset of peace and stability will seem foreign and strange. And three, [hope/freedom/capitalism] is an extraordinarily powerful idea.

When I was in [country in question] last [week/month/August], I was amazed by the [people’s basic desire for a stable life/level of Westernization for such a closed society/variety of the local cuisine], and that tells me two things. It tells me that the citizens of [country in question] have no shortage of [courage/potential entrepreneurs/root vegetables], and that is a good beginning to grow from. Second, it tells me that people in [country in question] are just like people anywhere else on this great globe of ours.

So what should we do about the chaos in [country in question]? Well, it’s easier to start with what we should not do. We should not [ignore the problem and pretend it will go away/lob a handful of cruise missiles and hope that some explosions will snap [country in question]’s leaders to attention/let seemingly endless frustrations cause the people of [country in question] to doubt their chance at progress]. Beyond that, we need to be careful to nurture [the seeds of democratic ideals/the fragile foundations of peace/these first inklings of a moderate, modern society]. The opportunity is there, but I worry that the path to [peace/stability/moderation] is so [narrow/poorly marked/strewn with obstacles] that [country in question] will have to move down it very slowly.

Speaking with a local farmer on the last day of my recent visit, I asked him if there was any message that he wanted me to carry back home with me. He pondered for a second, and then smiled and said, “[Short phrase in indigenous language],” which is a local saying that means roughly, “[Every branch of the tree casts its own shadow/That tea is sweetest whose herbs have dried longest/A child knows his parents before the parents know their child].”

I don’t know what [country in question] will be like a few years from now, but I do know that it will [probably look very different from the country we see now/remain true to its cultural heritage], even if it [remains true to its basic cultural heritage/looks very different from the country we see now]. I know this because, through all the disorder, the people still haven’t lost sight of their dreams.

185 Al-Sharqawi and Al-Shaer Ordered Released

A State Security prosecutor has ordered Mohamed al-Sharqawi and Karim al-Shaer, the last two secular activists still in prison after this spring’s crackdown on protests, released.

184 Strangelovian Psycho

Today’s hero: He’s stark, raving, and like all psychotics, boring. Can you guess who today’s Strangelovian psychopath is?

Send links for the next installment.

182 Sudanese Refugees Redux

I read it very quickly, but I liked the report the Forced Migration and Refugees Studies (FMRS) department of the American University in Cairo did on the crackdown on a protest Sudanese refugees in Cairo. It was, as far as I know, the only serious study on the topic. From discussions with the researchers, some of whom are good friends, I’d been afraid they would pull their punches on UNHCR. They didn’t.

Soon after the report came out, in mid-June, I spoke with a friend who has worked closely with the refugees and asked her what she thought of it. Her response was so interesting and intelligent, and so clearly came from the perspective of one who sincerely wanted to do something to help, that I asked her to write down what she had just told me. She very kindly did, but stressed she had to remain anonymous:

As background? About a month ago now the Forced Migration and Refugee Studies (FMRS) program at the American University of Cairo (AUC) released the findings of investigation into the sit-in and forced removal of Sudanese demonstrators from Moustpha Mahmoud park.

I had been looking forward to the release of the report, but when it was released and I read it I was somewhat disappointed.

I had looked forward to this report because I felt that it was really important for all involved to know as much as possible what had happened and why, as part of the healing process for all involved.

The Sudanese community has been traumatized and huge fractures created and exacerbated between the Sudanese community, UNHCR, NGOs, the Egyptian Government, and the Egyptian community. As a result of this, I feel that some form of truth and reconciliation process is what is needed. All persons involved need to reach an understanding of what happened; a recognition of why it occurred, including a recognition of each party?s failings; a rebuilding of trust and relationships; and, finally, joint action to ensure the tragedy is not repeated, in Cairo or elsewhere. Unfortunately there will probably be no other report and FMRS was in perfect position to undertake a thorough investigation from a neutral and academic viewpoint. This could have been a key step to begin the healing process, however I feel this opportunity was missed.

The report unfortunately has some major flaws, namely:

• Lack of adequate consultative process: Most academic reports are generally given to those interviewed or consulted to comment on, or published as a draft in some form first. This means those involved can correct misperceptions of the authors, identify gaps where they can assist to fill but may not have thought about. The current report was never published as a draft, nor were advanced copies provided for comment to relevant organizations involved during the demonstration.
• Inaccuracies: As a result of the lack of consultation there are a number of inaccuracies in the report (some legal, some factual) as well as sections which are misleading and should be reviewed.
• Inadequate substantiating evidence: Many parts of the report and many statements had little or no supporting evidence. Bald unsubstantiated statements do not lend themselves to confidence in the claims. This affects the report as a whole, as it is likely to be taken less seriously due to a lack of academic rigor and therefore there be less action on its very valuable recommendations.
• Gaps: A number of matters were never looked into. What was the role of NGOs in this process? Was the UNHCR RSD process in prison acceptable? What did Sudanese who were not involved in the demonstration think about it?
• The key questions: The report asked a number of key questions at the beginning but these were never answered. In particular the report asked ?what more could UNHCR and the government have done?? The title even alludes to this with the reference to ?false expectations?. However the issue of what UNHCR and the Government and NGOs could have done and should have done was not explored.

The issue of expectations is very important. It was not clear what organizations could do and could not do, due to resources and in the case of UNHCR due to mandate. It was not clear what UNHCR and the Government of Egypt were obliged to do. This is essential to identify what are legitimate and what are unrealistic expectations. And if these false expectations are never recognized and addressed then they will continue, as will the disappointment, anger and poor relations between the community, UNHCR, Government and other organizations.

The report also failed to identify the specific legitimate expectations of those demonstrating which were not met. By failing to do this, the report misses the chance to be a useful advocacy tool for the community in its dealings with UNHCR and the Government in the future.

I still hope that the community and all affected by the tragic events of last year find closure, that there is a rebuilding of positive relationships and trust, and that efforts are made to prevent the tragedy from occurring. But the opportunity for FMRS to give people some closure and to kick start this reconciliation process was unfortunately missed and this chance will never be repeated.

[tags]Sudanese refugees, Cairo, Egypt, Sudan, UNHCR[/tags]

181 Oh, the Irony

So said a Lebanese friend in the first email I’ve had from him since the war started. He was talking about Bush’s, err, impromptu remarks at the G8 summit today.

Just when you thought Bush couldn’t say “screw you, Lebanon” more clearly if he said it in Arabic, he confounds the world’s expectations by producing a sense of irony. And a sense of irony so keen that he can find it in the fruits of war.

This and many more astonishing revelations in this transcript of a conversation Bush and Blair unwittingly recorded at the G8 summit. Shame all the really juicy details are “inaudible.” Try reading this together with Nasrallah’s address “to the Nation, the Lebanese people, the resistance fighters, the Zionists, and the Arab leaders” (thanks to Jackie Chan for the email) after the break. I imagine inhaling gasoline fumes from a plastic bag might produce a similar mix of queasiness and disorientation. Tempted? Read on…
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